A Valentine’s Day Story

Teresa Olson
By Teresa Olson February 21, 2018 09:31

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Because this holiday is still fresh in our minds, I’m going to tell a Valentine’s Day story that, although completely imaginary, may ring true for a lot of you.  I’ve also added a twist, so read on:

Ah yes, February 14th.  You’ve been making plans for this day so as not to disappoint your favorite Valentine, and you think all the details are in place.  You get your chores done early so you can get “cleaned up”, and unwrapping a new bar of your preferred brand of bar soap (COW)- Old Spice, you spend an extra three minutes in the shower for good measure.  You spare nothing, lathering your face with shave cream (COW), using extra deodorant (COW) and toothpaste (COW), and even rinsing with that mouthwash (COW) you’re not particularly fond of.  Your significant other is primping as well – it’s been awhile since she didn’t have to do the cooking.  She dawns a little makeup (COW), splashes on some perfume (COW) from a bottle that never seems to run out, and transfers the contents of her “everyday” purse (COW) to the one she saves for special occasions.

This is a night that has earned the use of your car.  You pull it out of the garage – but not before checking the hydraulic brake fluid (COW) because that’s just who you are, and you steal a glance at your pickup that gets you where you need to go most days.  Traveling to town, the leather seats (COW) remind you that your hard work earned you this luxury, and you’re thankful that the road is asphalt (COW).  It will help keep the car clean…

It will not be the local café this evening.  You travel a bit further to a “fine” restaurant with candles (COW), bone china (COW), the finest utensils (COW) and wine glasses (COW), and you silently give thanks for that successful heart valve replacement (COW), promising to eat “better” tomorrow.  The restaurant’s finest T-bone (COW) is what you’ve been waiting for all day. 

After the meal, it’s off to a movie with your sweetheart and even though she had a love story in mind, you convince her that an action-packed movie would be better. It would also keep you awake after overeating.  You offer sugary (COW) candy as compensation, and she chooses her favorite gummy worms (COW). For the next two hours, you wrap yourself up in bad guys with dynamite (COW), and heroes (who must surely have had their share of steroids (COW)) who quickly extinguish (COW) the fires that follow those huge explosions. 

On the return trip, you make a mental note about getting new tires (COW) for your pickup, and how good it will feel to get home and catch from your favorite easy chair, the weather report for tomorrow.  No need for an aphrodisiac (COW) tonight.  You’ll be asleep soon.  The romance in this relationship has taken a new form over time – one filled with love and appreciation for a good life, and a good wife.  A person couldn’t ask for more…

In case you haven’t figured out my intentions, every time I inserted the word COW in my story above, I was telling you about a commodity that uses the by-products (or co-products) of this and other animals.  Our efforts to reduce waste through innovation have had a remarkable impact on this society.  You should love that too!

-Terry Olson, Titan Outlet Store Team

Resources:

www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/common-products-that-contain-hidden-cow-parts/

http://www.ozy.com/acumen/12-surprising-ways-to-use-the-cow-without-eating-a-bite/33181

 

Teresa Olson
By Teresa Olson February 21, 2018 09:31
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