You Might be a Farmer’s Wife…

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By titanoutlet May 22, 2012 15:44 Updated

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I was perusing the web the other day and ran across a piece written by Jim McKeown, a professor at Dakota State University in Madison SD.  This list certainly rings true for all farm/ranch/rural wives. See how many of these points you can relate to and if you have any to add, please do so in the comments!


 

You Might be a Farmer’s Wife….

  • If your name is taped to the side of a cake pan
  • If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice
  • If the vet’s number is on the speed dial of your phone
  • If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can’t because the spare is on a flatbed
  • If your second vehicle is still a pickup
  • If the folks in the Emergency Room have a pool going for your kids and it involves the type of injury and when it will occur
  • If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your yard
  • If you’re in the habit of buying foodstuffs in bulk
  • If a “night out” involves the local 4-H club
  • If the word “auction” makes you tingle
  • If you’ve ever washed your kids or the dishes with a pressure washer
  • If “picking rock” is considered a chance to get out of the house
  • If “wild game” reminds you of dinner and not the bedroom
  • If “a little bit of lunch” involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch
  • If the “fresh ingredients” your recipe calls for reminds you to do the chores
  • If taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic
  • If that pail with a hole in it is a flowerpot in the making
  • If your rock garden was hand-picked
  • If you can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them
  • If you’re on the lookout for new uses for “Jell-O”
  • If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells
  • If “Farm”, “Ranch”, “Country”, “Cowboy” or “Antique” is in the name of your favorite magazine
  • If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow
  • If “Lacey” or “Frilly” refers to a farm animal but not your nightgown
  • If you ever went on a date to the rodeo
  • If you’ve ever been grateful for fingernail polish, because it hides the dirt under your nails
  • If you’ve ever called your husband to supper, using a radio
  • If you buy antiques because they match the rest of your furniture
  • If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer
  • If your driveway is longer than a stone’s throw
  • If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery
  • If your kids’ wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or vice versa
  • If the daily paper is always a day late
  • If you have a yard, but not a lawn
  • If you have lots of machinery and each piece is worth more than your house
  • If the leaky barn roof gets fixed, before the leaky house roof
  • If duct tape is always on your shopping list
  • If the neighbor’s house is best viewed with binoculars
  • If the directions to your house include the words, “miles,” “silos,” “last,” or “gravel road”
  • If the tractor and the combine have air conditioning and an FM radio but your car doesn’t
  • If your storage shed is a barn
  • If you measure travel in miles not minutes
  • If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can’t find your husband
  • If you consider “hot dish” a food group
  • If your husband says, “Can you help me for a few minutes?” and you know that might be anywhere from a few minutes to six hours
  • If you plan your vacations around farm shows
  • If Zaa Zaa Gabor is on your list of “Most Admired Persons”
  • If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems
  • If your refrigerator contains medicine, livestock medicine
  • If your car’s color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown
  • If you knew everyone in your high school
  • If you’ve ever grown your own wall decorations
  • If you’ve entertained the romantic notion of living in an old, country farmhouse with a fireplace, but gave it up because firsthand experience tells you that it’s cold, drafty, smoky and sooty
  • If you use newspapers to help keep the kitchen floor clean
  • If you’ve ever said, “Oh, it’s only a little mud.”
  • If you need a pair of vice grips to run a household appliance
  • If your husband gave you flowers, but you had to plant the seeds yourself
  • If you’ve used the loader to reach the windows when they needed washing
  • If you’ve ever used a broom to shoo a critter
  • If you’ve ever discovered a batch of kittens in your laundry basket
  • If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after dinner
  • If you don’t need the recipe to make Rice Krispies bars
  • If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skidsteer loader
  • If you can find a use for that old tractor seat
  • If you’ve ever found mice in the underwear drawer
  • If quality time with your hubby means you’ll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other
  • If you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn
  • If you buy your husband’s “dress” socks at Campbell’s Supply
  • If family “pets” include deer, coons, squirrels, foxes or birds
  • If you can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours
  • If your basement is really a cellar
  • If “sharing a cab” has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field
  • If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy

Thanks for your insight, Professor McKeown!

–       Terry Olson, Titan Outlet Store Team

titanoutlet
By titanoutlet May 22, 2012 15:44 Updated
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9 Comments

  1. Gene Edwards June 11, 08:42

    If you had to cut your honeymoon short because a cow was having trouble having a calf and you had to go pull the calf

    Reply to this comment
  2. Kaci Mc February 12, 20:32

    1. If you’ve ever ridden the cotton picker with your husband/boyfriend until 3 in the morning to keep him awake because they were trying to get all the cotton out before a storm hit.
    2. If going on a date consists of picking up take-out and eating it on the tractor with him.
    3. If you never know when you’re going to eat supper because his hours are so crazy!
    4. If you’ve ever been woken up by a farm radio that got left on at 4 in the morning and the men are using them on their way to the deer woods! (The time this happened to me, it scared me to death because I thought someone had broken into the house until I found the radio!)
    5. If you’re really close to his mom because you spend so much time together all summer while the men are working!

    Reply to this comment
  3. Jill February 13, 08:51

    Funny stuff! Great minds must think alike–here is my blog post from Monday “You Might Be a Farmer’s Wife If…”
    http://fencepostdiaries.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/you-might-be-a-farm-wife-if-take-2/

    Reply to this comment
  4. Jen February 13, 16:28

    If your grocery store runs make your diet look terrible because all you buys is junk, you already have potatoes, meat, veggies and milk at home.

    Reply to this comment
  5. Sandy February 13, 18:00

    If you ever bottle fed a calf or lamb in the kitchen because momma wouldn’t take care of it. Than put it in a cardboard box for a bed and warmth.

    Reply to this comment
  6. Julie February 15, 09:46

    You spent Valentine’s Day at the National Farm Machinery Show

    Reply to this comment
  7. Shelly B March 5, 11:04

    If a day of shopping means Menards, Bomgaars, & Tractor Supply Co.; & a “quick” trip to Napa if we have time!

    Reply to this comment
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